Love Lesson

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Welcome to my blog, LoveLesson.com

Sit back, relax and check out some of the great articles. Because when it comes to the matters of the heart, we could all use a love lesson!

XOXO

Be My Valentine

Before there was a Saint Valentine to bring romance into the equation, mid-February was an important date for lovers. From 400 years BC, the Romans held an annual lottery in the name of their god Lupercus. The names of teenage women were put into a box and drawn at random by adolescent men. The 'winners' were legally paired for a year.

Meanwhile, the mad emperor Claudius banned marriage for young men - he believed that single men made better soldiers.

A Christian bishop, Valentine, disagreed with his Emperor and secretly performed marriage ceremonies until Claudius found out and first imprisoned him, and finally had him clubbed, stoned and beheaded on February 24th, 270.

While he was imprisoned, Valentine fell in love with the daughter of his jailer and when he was taken to be executed, he left her a note signed, 'From your Valentine.'

Taking Valentine's name in vain, the Church, in AD 496, decided to finally abolish the annual pairing off lottery held in honor of the god Lupercus and so decreed a small change in the rules:

From then on, both the young men and the young women would pick a name out of the hat, but instead of getting a year of companionship (and often lust), they drew the name of a Saint whose life they had to spend the next year emulating.

Must have been quite a disappointment for the hot- bloodied young Romans!

They named the day after Saint Valentine whose involvement, 226 years after his death, was more to usurp the pagan god than to signify love.

Thankfully, public memory was more powerful that political will and Saint Valentine remained associated with lovers. Young Roman men, deprived of their lottery, took instead to handing hand-written notes to the women they admired on February 14th.

The tradition of the Valentine card was thus started over 1500 years ago!

The earliest known card that still exists is currently in the British Museum. It was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife. He was a prisoner in the Tower of London at the time and so his feelings of love were probably more acute than most!

In the sixteenth century the Bishop of Geneva tried to reinstate the annual Saint's name lottery, but his efforts were short-lived. February 14th was by then too firmly associated with lovers for the Church to successfully interfere.

In 1797 a British publisher, who would have done very well in modern Internet times, published 'The Young Man's Valentine Writer' which offered scores of suggestions of sentimental verses for the creatively challenged.

The practice of sending cards anonymously began with the Victorians, who secretly loved anything of a racy nature, but publicly needed to maintain a show of respectful purity. Hence, the verses in the cards became more and more obscene, but the authors remained hidden behind a respectful anonymity.

The first publisher of Valentine's cards in America, Esther Holland charged up to $35 for each card. And this was in 1870!

Finally, kisses are written as 'x' because in days of illiteracy, your signature was a cross. To convey the effect of an oath, people would draw their cross and kiss it - in the same way that they would kiss the Bible. So the x and the kiss became one and the same.

Have a lovely Valentine's day! X

About the author - Martin Avis is the publisher of Kickstart Today, a free online newsletter that talks about business, the Internet - and even Valentine's Day. If you like writing with personality, subscribe today at kickstartdaily.com

Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage - How to Meet Your Soulmate

Nearly everyone in the world has the tendency to feel isolated and lonesome for some time despite the number of people that move along with him in his designated environment. Although one has some pertinent concerns in his life, he still feels that craving to find that person that is really meant for his lifetime. There seems to be a big hole that needs to be filled up. There is always a person who is destined to make you feel an unconditional happiness—someone who'll make you complete. It is called the soul mate.

So how do you meet your soul mate? When would you meet the other half of yourself? Meeting your own soul mate is like getting to meet your twin spirit, as others put it. Such meeting is equaled with the feeling of deep relation with another which seems to be really inexplicable. The concept about soul mate is deeply embedded with one's spiritual experience. The meeting is beyond words to explain. There just simply comes the automatic feeling of having been very much acquainted with one another. Soul mates come about when there are these two people wherever they are in the world but they end up tracking the same path to find each other and spend their lifetime with one another. They may be opposites but there is the connection that binds them as one. Even if they have hindrances in their own lives, these things automatically are diminished so that they would be free to spend the rest of their lives together.

The connection of the soul mates is easily felt as it is deeply rooted from an unconscious past memory which could be traced back to a previous love relationship between them. The soul mate is the other half with whom someone has already spent a love relationship in several lifetimes ago. Have you ever felt it that there seems to be a special liking that you feel for someone during the first time that you ever meet him or her? Or have you ever felt that very strong dislike for someone without any valid reason? These actuations are due to the past-life connection that you both share.

How is it possible to meet your soul mate? Some people who are non-believers of this concept would think that this idea is such a trash. It is indeed difficult to find your soul mate in your current world. There are several strangers that you face day in and day out. How could you possibly bump into the right person? Well, the explanation to this is that soul mates find their own way through the aid of destiny.

Now how would you know that someone is your soul mate? Experts have provided a list of tips for you to decipher as to whether or not your mate is your destined twin spirit. In this situation though, you've got to be cautious in evaluating the situation you are in. You may not be lucky enough and realize that he or she is not really your destined partner in your lifetime. However, it takes some luck to consider these ways.

You share the same priorities and sentiments. When it dawns on you that you are so alike in many ways that even if you do not come up with a definite agreement it just pops out of the blue that you think of the same things, you say the same things, and everything seems to be a big coincidence for both of you. There is also the point when you both enjoy doing the same things, sharing the same ideals, and everything goes on smoothly.

You have that determined comfort level. There is an inexplicable feeling of comfort in both of your sides. You don't seem aghast with his or her touch, you seem to enjoy every minute seeing the other person and conversing together is always an aftermath of any activity that you share doing.

You both have faith. You both agree at one point—that you have already met the other person in one lifetime and there is a connection that binds both of you.

Finding your soul mate in a lifetime may be a tedious task. But as destiny takes its own course, you two will just end up being together without further hassles.

For more complete information on dating please go to: datingforpleasure.com soulmatestogether.com drnathaliefiset.com

The Meaning of Red Roses - Romance and Love

The red rose not only carries the deepest meaning among all the rose colors - It is one of the universal symbols of love and affection. This flower's long, eventful history lends it a breadth of significance. The red rose has been incorporated into many works of art from classical poetry to paintings. It is also the inspiration for many artists and lovers across cultures.

Shakespeare made an allusion to roses in Romeo and Juliet, and the poet Robert Burns created a poem on the beauty of the red rose In the present day, the red rose figures not only in music and media, but also as religious and political symbols. Because of that, the red rose symbolizes courage, respect, and prosperity, making them an appropriate gift when we want to make a dramatic statement.

Among all these meanings however, love is what most people associate with this red flower. Any six-year old can tell you that a red rose is the traditional symbol for romance and love.

The red rose as we know it today was brought to Europe from China in 1800's, though the meanings people associate with them date back far longer than that. The color red itself was initially a primal symbol for life that eventually evolved into a metaphor for profound emotions. Early cultures across the globe used these red flowers for their traditional wedding attire and to decorate the wedding ceremony itself.

Because of these traditions, the red rose soon became known as the symbol for deep love and fidelity. As the practice of exchanging roses and other flowers as signs of affection grew more popular, the red rose became the flower of choice for lovers because it sends the strongest message of love. This tradition still lives on to the present day.

Sending someone a bouquet of red roses is still the most popular way to say "I love you." The red rose's rich and diverse heritage culminated in the modern day image of the lover's rose. It is the definitive symbol for romantic feelings and represents a true love stronger than thorns.

Red roses make meaningful gifts for expressing emotions during an anniversary, Valentine's day, or for no apparent reason at all. For new relationships and budding romances, a bouquet of red rosebuds signifies the start of romantic intentions, a message of commitment, and a tentative invitation to bring the relationship to the next level. Even a single, long-stemmed red rose can evoke a powerful response from its recipient. This is a trait no other flower can convey.

About the Author - This article is written by Timothy Spencer for Island Rose - Flowers Philippines. We hope you enjoyed this article and encourage you to visit our website. For more informative articles like this, visit the Flower Delivery Philippines blog pages.

Top 4 Relationship Questions To Ask Your Partner

There is a well known saying which states that "Love Is Blind". We have all felt it: we meet someone, fall head over heels in love, we start a relationship which hopefully becomes a steady one, but often don't take the time to really get to know our partner. Most people believe that they know their partner completely, yet you'd be amazed at how little they really know about the truly important issues.

Most people fail to ask their partner the really important questions and rush into a long termed commitment and marriage. It's hardly surprising that divorce rates are so high; people simply don't know each other well enough before they tie the knot. If you want to be sure you end up with the right partner, you need to take the time to ask the important questions.

Here are 4 Relationship Questions To Ask Your Partner

1. How does your partner see your future together -- This is a crucial question to ask. Many men and women spend years with their partners only to discover that they don't ever want to get married. Even if you're in love, there's little point in spending more and more time with someone who doesn't see the future as you do.

2. Does your partner want children -- Your partner may see the two of you spending your life together but he or she may not wish to have children, or perhaps not the same number of children as you do. If that is the case, your relationship will not last. Many couples leave this subject until after the marriage ceremony. That is a huge mistake. Make sure that you see eye to eye on this issue.

3. Where does your partner want to live -- Some people want to live in cities while others in small towns and rural areas. Needless to say, where you live can make a huge difference in how your life will be. There's no point to find out where your partner wishes to live until after you get married. You have to know the answer to this question beforehand.

4. How does your partner see the home you both shall make together -- This isn't a simple question but it's an important one. You need to know your partner's religious views, how he or she believe your children should be raised, does he believe that your career is important or that you need to stay at home with the kids, how he views traditional male -- female roles, does he or she wish to buy a home or rent. It's really a lot of small, but oh so important relationship questions which together make out how your home will look. There's room for compromise here, but if the differences between you are too great, you may not be compatible.

These 4 questions are just a sample of the questions you need to ask your partner in order to be sure you will have a happy future together. Don't fail to ask these and other questions. It can save you a lot of heartbreak later on.

To discover more relationship questions you have to know about, click here: Questions For Couples You Have To Know About. Lucy Doyle wrote a review about questions you have to ask before committing. To read here review, click here: More Relationship Questions To Ask Your Partner.

Love and Happiness For Life

Nothing is more indispensable than love in making the human being happy! Without love, nothing has meaning.

However, happiness in love is quite rare in our world...

Therefore, I decided to write an e-book especially about this matter and teach you the basics, so that you may find the right person for you and keep your happiness for life.

This is what will help you keep your happiness alive as long as you live: the right person!

If you are not with your soul mate and if you don't feel that your relationship is perfect, you cannot be happy. And if you begin with a wrong relationship, nothing else can be good...

If you insist on trying to adapt yourself to the wrong relationship because it seems to be the ideal one for you for other reasons, you can only acquire many scars.

Many people insist on staying in a wrong relationship instead of being alone, because they don't have the patience to wait for the ideal person.

If you are impatient, you are going to get involved with the wrong person, and then, when you do meet the right one, you won't have your freedom. This meeting will be dramatic, while it should bring you only happiness!

Don't accept relationships with anyone simply because you don't want to be alone or because you "somehow" like them.

You have to be very demanding and selective when you are free, because once you start having a relationship with someone, you may stick with them for life, while they may be very far from being the ideal person for you.

This is how things happen in life: you meet someone, you like him or her, you become a couple, and then you stay together, even if later you start fighting everyday or if your relationship becomes totally cold and has no meaning.

People get used to other people, to their routine and to the things they know very well, and they don't change their lives, even if it is not what they desire.

Don't follow this road!

Be smart and look for the right person for you, without accepting imitations, because only the right person can make you really happy for life!

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.
Learn more at: scientificdreaminterpretation.com

Romantic Ideas For Your Fun and Pleasure

How To Be Romantic
Warning! The ideas I will share in this article are mostly intended to guys who are already in a relationship. If you're picking up women, I'm a proponent of not revealing too much of your romantic side. Why? Because being romantic is not enough to get you a girl. Triggering attraction and being seductive does.

If you've been in a relationship for quite some time, you might want to bring some romance to revitalize it.

Romanticism has this "magical" side to it. It will not go as far as transforming an ordinary relationship into a fairytale but it can add some fantasy, wonder and charm. And being romantic is sometimes necessary to show your lover that you actually care about her.

As a rule of thumb, showing your romantic side is mostly effective when your partner does not expect it. You must be able to surprise her. It means that you do not wait for Valentine's Day or for her anniversary to show you romantic side. Express it at any given moment. Spontaneity is key.

Below are two of my favourite ideas.

Dinner by candlelight
Classic. But it never gets outdated.

Choose a quiet place - preferably one she doesn't know with a sifted light where you won't be disturbed (don't forget to turn your mobile off!). There's no romantic dinner without candles. At some point, put a letter under her plate that says something special about your relationship.

You want to have something for the five senses. Not only do you want to have some tasty food, you also want the place to look good - you want to look good! The place should have soothing and relaxing music in the background. Put on a light fragrance. And last but not least, touch your lover lightly from time to time.

Better still, do it at home. Put on romantic tunes from your own collection. And for those who may wonder... indeed that would be a dinner you would have prepared yourself and not the traitor.

The perfumed bath
If you have access to a bath, what more romantic than a shared bath. Simply add in water some perfumed oils and bath salts. You can also make bath foam. Candles and a glass of champagne may complete this perfect romantic picture.

Some more ideas
While she's not there, put on rose petals in her bedroom, and a chocolate box under her pillow...

Watch a romantic movie: I suggest not going for obvious or classic movies such as Casablanca or Titanic. I especially like Before Sunrise and Before Sunset with Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke. It begins with a young man meeting a woman on a train in Europe, and winding up spending one romantic evening together in Vienna...

Take her dancing. And no, taking her to a rave party is not romantic. Go for a dancing session where you can dance eye to eye. Salsa or tango will do.

Try the theatre. And as for with the movies, I suggest not going for some big production but rather for some youth or amateur play.

Just changing environment can be romantic. Take her out of town, maybe stay in a nice hotel and go for a walk in the neighbourhood or even milking cows in a farm.

And if you're lucky to reside near the coast, go to a quiet beach on a nice evening, build a fire and have a picnic.

That's it. Have fun with those ideas.

And don't forget romance is meant to be use as pepper, something to do once, at most twice a month! Over used it and you'll suffer.

Leon Casey, The setter of Astoundingdatingtips.com - See the need to educate to public in the area of dating as he finds that most people do not know how to date. And the worse, many were educated the wrong way by their parents, movies, stories and fantasy. Therefore he setup astoundingdatingtips.com in which he recommend useful books, online personals and regularly updated dating advice. He is optimism that the website will certainly help the community in way or another.

Love and Romance - Understanding Emotions

In life we are taught a great many things, but for some reason we do not learn much about emotions! For most of us our emotions are something of a mystery. We know that we have them but have little idea where they come from or how we can experience them more positively.

A useful model developed, by psychologist Dr C. Spezzano, allows us to become more self-aware and to better understand our emotions. At any point in life, our emotions will be experienced from any of six different perspectives.

Denial > Resistance > Pain > Guilt > Fear > Love

Denial - Many of our fears and insecurities are hidden beneath the surface of our conscious minds and we can therefore be completely unaware of them and how they affect our lives. We are often in denial of these insecurities - an unconscious strategy designed to avoid us having to face the emotional pain that we believe might overwhelm us if we were to unearth our hidden fears. We hide them away for protection and then try to get on with life. Unfortunately, these insecurities have a nasty habit of reappearing in our lives as emotional trauma, relationship difficulties and even health problems.

Resistance - Life will through all sorts of challenges at us and these will raise the emotional temperature. In a struggle to keep our insecurities at bay and avoid feeling our negative emotions we will tend to resist anybody or anything in life that might trigger these unpleasant sensations. This normally involves some form of compensatory behaviour or distraction from anything that could trigger our pain. Trying to be very successful in education or work to gain approval, or trying to be a really 'nice' person would be typical examples of compensations, but there are many, many more.

Pain - Sooner or later, usually due to traumatic events in our life, the resistance is broken and we begin to feel emotional pain. Our reaction is to either bury it again through more resistance and denial or hand the pain to somebody else - we tend to blame other people for our negative emotions. This is what happens in bad behaviour, arguments and rows as we judge and project our pain outwards into the world.

Guilt - Under our tendency to blame other people for our problems is a usually unconsciously held belief that, in fact, we are to blame. This guilt is based around our low self esteem and unworthiness that we take on at a very early age and comes out of a belief that we have let people down (often our parents) and hurt people in some way. Self-blame and guilt are always mistakes and much of our work focuses on letting go of these damaging emotions. More information on Guilt & Low Self Esteem

Fear - All these negative emotions are actually hiding our deeply buried fears. There will be many different fears that we are unwilling to deal with, but ultimately these will boil down to our fears about being abandoned, rejected and unloved. As we gain confidence and greater emotional awareness we are able to feel, understand and let go of these fears.

Love - As we face and heal our fears, rather than suppressing or denying them, we discover that they hide our natural state - that of love, spirit and pure positive energy. As we strip away the pain, guilt and fear we are left with the beauty of our essence - full of creativity, abundance and joy.

We usually experience these emotional responses sequentially. They appear as layers in our reaction to people and events in our lives. Our negative emotions can be understood as our defence mechanism to avoid feeling pain, guilt and fear, that usually originates in our childhood. If we want to gain more emotional awareness and maturity we need to work down through our emotional layers and heal or our insecurities and fears. By understanding the layered nature of emotions we begin to understand why we have certain thoughts and feelings and also understand the people around us better.

Ultimately we can let go of all the negative emotions and bring more love into our lives and improve our relationships and romantic experiences.

To learn more about this model and how it can be used, please visit our website - details below.

Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationship counselor and life coach. He runs relationship and self-development workshops in the UK. He has recently launched a book called 'How to Find True Love' - The Secrets of Love, Romance and Successful Relationships. For more free relationship advice and information about his book, go to iloveyouloveme.com

Create More Romance In Your Life

Ah, romance, that wonderful and exciting feeling, that most glorious intertwining of two hearts. So intense, such a high, but so fleeting, and so often for so many once gone never to return. But does it have to be that way? Can we intentionally create and sustain more romance in our lives?

Most folks profess to want more romance in their lives. Indeed, for some, romance is a goal unto itself, or at least high on the list of goals for their love relationships.

But if having romance in our committed love relationships is a highly prized goal, and if so many people want more of it in their lives, how can we create, cultivate, and encourage it? What concrete steps can we take to make sure that romance takes seed and flourishes?

The purpose of this article is to explore the idea that romance begins in your heart-center and grows outward, and is, to some significant degree, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself first you can create the conditions that allow you to experience and express romance with another more easily.

Listen: your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others. The same can be said for romance: your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship.

True romance isn’t just about flowers and poems. Flowers and poems are great, of course, but are really just an extension of a feeling that comes from within, something that starts in, and flows from, the heart. Without that heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are but an attempt be to romantic, not an expression of true romance.

So how do you create more romance in your life? Begin by romancing yourself. Love, accept, and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself with respect and understanding. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a poem. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. And remember: if you don’t love yourself first, you can’t truly love another.

And remember that it is far more important to be the right person than to find the right person. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Romance, too, is a reflection of that inner state. By first creating romance within, you’ll be well on your way to creating more romance in your life.

Mark Maxwell is a saxophonist and composer whose company, Romantic Sax Music, creates and distributes music that facilitates romance and harmony. Romantic Sax Music: Romancing Your Heart...Soothing Your Soul

Rekindle Romance With Thoughts

Romance is in the mind. If anybody thought that body has anything to do with romance, he/she must rethink. Romance is in the mind and the heart. Romance is in the eyes. Romance is in words. Romance is in music. Romance is in beauty.

Imagine looking at a wreck. Now think of romance. You will fail. Go to a spot of beauty, say a mountain range. You will not have to think of romance. It will happen. Similarly listen to some noises and think about your sweetheart. You will not be able to. Now put on some lovely music and your thought will automatically turn to your darling. Romance has to do with senses. The senses receive stimuli and take us to the phase of romance. If you can combine a beautiful sight, with lovely music and love thoughts, you will be creating a romantic atmosphere in a short time. You will not have to do it. It will happen.

We all face typical problems. We work most of the times in surroundings that are highly unromantic. No four walls, full of cubicles and people working on their computers can by any stretch of imagination be called romantic. What if you download a screensaver that combines beautiful visuals, lovely music and text that can create love in no time? You will feel romantic watching it even sitting in the same work place full of cubicles. Am I right? You can do it now. Such screensavers are being offered on the Internet. You have a large choice and can download as many as you want at no cost. Whenever you are feeling unexcited and tired with your work, remove the stress and go in the mood of romance with such screensavers that are full of love thoughts.

Romance is enchanting. Romance is life giving. If you are in romantic love, please don't waste any time. Enjoy the love as much as you can. One day, that love will disappear. It is like a small kid. Parents who miss loving their kid when he/she is small, find that after some years they can never do that. The clock does not turn back. Same applies with romance. Bring romance thoughts in front of you and enjoy the bliss now.

CD Mohatta writes for ecards and online greetings, screensavers and desktop wallpapers. He writes articles on love, dating and marriage He also writes for Desktop wallpapers - free desktop wallpapers. These are static wallpapers which can be your computer desktop background all the time. Read the messages and get inspired all day. He also writes for fun -quizzes. Here, you can take personality and other quizzes to find out about yourself and your relationships.

Simple Ways to Woo Enigmatic Hubby

It is so baffling that you just cannot come to terms with it. Gone are the days when starry-eyed your husband transported you to heaven by swearing that his very life depended on that smile of yours. Now his coldness has wiped away the smile from your face. Gone, too, are the days when mere sagging of your step chilled his heart. Now, even if you are drooping with fatigue, he has no eyes to see.

Tell your husband to come home early as you wish to spend the evening with some of your school friends and he is sure to be caught in a traffic jam but when a friend of his asks for some help he will do the near-impossible for him in time. Ask him to buy something for you on his way home and right enough, he will forget it. If you quiz him on Sensex figures over the past few months, pat comes every answer. Wear something trendy and eye-catching and he won't even notice it but let him see a passer-by in a smart outfit and he will be dazzled by her looks.

It hurts and mystifies you, for you just cannot understand how to deal with this enigmatic personality, this male version of Mary-Mary-Quite-Contrary that is your husband but do not be alarmed. You have just to gain some insight into a man's nature to find out the reason for his behaviour.

"A man's heart," it is said, "is a sanctuary where he enshrines only one but there are several antechambers that are seldom vacant." These words, written by a wise guy, say it all.

Now that you are securely lodged in the sanctuary of his heart, he finds no reason for wooing you any longer but directs his attention to making forays into the world around to fill his vacant antechambers. Not understanding his needs, you feel neglected but there's no reason for fear, lady. No reason at all! From your exalted position you can still keep him close to you and here's how:

Nagging is a mortal offence in marriage. Do not ever provoke your husband by saying, "Why did you hide your real face behind a mask before marriage? Had I known what kind of a person you are, I would never have married you." Such words can only send a marriage hurtling down to the point of no return.

HANDLE MALE EGO TACTFULLY

The male ego is a fragile thing which needs to be handled with care rather than crushed under your heel. Diminishing his image hurts his self-esteem as nothing else does. It is something no man will tolerate. So, instead of traversing the negative path of nagging and wounding, try the positive approach of healing, and winning over with wiles and smiles and see for yourself how effective it is.

A niece of mine once tackled an electric repair job on her own when repeated requests and reminders to her husband did not succeed in getting it done. That evening in front of some friends, she had a different story to tell. "Oh Ralph fixed it up for me and now the gadget is working perfectly. He is very good at such jobs," she said, much to my surprise.

Later, in response to my puzzled queries, she offered me an explanation, "If I had said that I had done it on my own, it would have hurt Ralph's pride and he would have been grumpy for days together attacking me all the while for running him down. I would rather let him take the credit for what he hasn't done than live with a sulking husband. These words are revealing and show how important it is not to run down your husband or expose his sins of omission and commission in front of others.

The male ego needs to be pampered and what better way can there be than for the wife to lose a little in order to soothe and coddle that bundle of contradictions that is her husband?

Your husband may win kudos for being a live wire at work and so helpful to everyone around, but at home he is only a couch potato that will not stir. You feel rattled when your son raises a hue and cry that Dad has not repaired his bicycle. Tempted though you are to attack him, do not ever say, "That's your Dad. He has time to do everybody's jobs but not ours." It may be perfectly true but giving voice to such feelings is setting your own house on fire.

Try a mild challenge instead and say, "I don't think Dad's up to it. It must be far too complicated for him, otherwise he would have done it before this. Let's take it to the cycle repair shop this evening and get it fixed." Unable to tolerate this question mark on his abilities, he is sure to bristle up and respond, "Who says I'm not up to it? Here, let me see what's wrong," and while he tries to prove his worth, you'll get the work. done. Do you wish to have your husband's help or expertise in something you are planning to do, but are afraid to request him because he may perversely turn you down? Just pretend to the contrary and act as if you don't need his help at all. His pride will be hurt and he will rush to your aid.

"Our mixie is giving trouble and there's an exchange offer. I'm going this evening to get another one. I hope you'll be at home when the children come back," says Michelle cleverly planning her move.

"You can't go and buy a mixie on your own. You may get duped," objects her husband. "Of course not. Do you think I'm so gullible?" "No, no. Such purchases need attention. I'll come with you," he insists in spite of protests and Michelle cleverly gets what she wants. Perverse moods can be confronted with tricky moves and your objective can be achieved without a word of nagging.

Defeating your husband at his own game is not everything. You need to woo him too, actively, fervently and craftily. Do you remember your courtship days when you were so eager to look your best? You spent hours picking and choosing your clothes, trying different hairstyles before the mirror and looking for ornaments that would enhance your looks. All your energies were directed towards enchanting him by looking gorgeous. Do you do that now?

When I reminded a young woman a few days ago that she was neglecting her looks, she replied, "Who cares? I'm married now." Being married is all the more reason for nursing that hour glass figure and those dewy fresh looks with which you had cast a spell on your husband-to-be.

For the twin reasons that a man can never forget the image of the woman he fell for and loves to show her off to the world you need to sport those good looks at all times.

Marriage is no licence for dowdy figures, unkempt hair and frowning faces. Not lovers alone but husbands too need to be charmed by good looks. So, go for that stunning figure and winning ways you once had and your husband will always be the lover that he was.

BETTER INITIATION

"If my wife is in a good mood I stay at home, if not, I just walk away," says one husband. No man enjoys the company of a shrewish, bawling, complaining wife. So, to keep your husband by your side, put zing into his day with your upbeat mood. Wipe off that scowl from your face and put a smile in its place. Look cheerful, act cheerful, have a spring in your step and a tinkle in your tone, especially when your husband is in a foul mood. Do not let his grumpiness infect you but let your lightheartedness brighten him and he will bless you as the mood-enhancer he can't stay away from.

"My husband and I quarrel often and very bitterly too and when it comes to making up, both of us are too proud to initiate the first move. So, do you know what we do?" asks a long-married friend of mine. "After a while one of us narrates a few jokes or tells a funny story to the children within the other's hearing and as bright laughter breaks out, moods mellow and differences are forgotten.

Finding reasons and occasions to laugh aloud and often, is a good way of keeping up a joyous tempo in the house. Infectious and amnesic as it is, lots of laughter around can thaw the icy coldness that freezes a couple's feelings.

The beginning of marriage need not signal the end of romance. Marriage needs a lot of sugar and spice to make it palatable and romance is what makes it deliciously sweet and tangy. So, relive all those happenings in your courtship that meant so much to both of you, speak of them and celebrate them, for love can be kept alive by fond memories. Take time off from work, household duties and children to sit side by side in the moonlight, or to just walk down the lane far from the madding crowd.

A simple holding of hands, a meaningful meeting of eyes and sweet nothings whispered into each other's ear is what love feeds upon and marriage thrives on a diet of love. So, always remember that romance in marriage is the surest way of seeing that your husband is not overly eager to fill the many antechambers of his heart.

The same faces, the same voices, the same surroundings can well bore anyone as the years roll by. So, to drive away monotony from your marriage take care to see that your life does not revolve just round the cooking range and the washing machine but bring some novelty into your home life. Rearrange the rooms, give them a new look by redecorating them, arrange picnics and outings, attend a concert or two with your husband and spend time in recreational places whenever you can.

So also try some surprises by varying the type of meals you serve, the kind of clothes you wear and the routine you stick to. Every little change can help to drive away boredom and bring novelty into your days and every successful change will make your rating soar in your husband's eyes. If you are a torch that lights up your marriage, your husband will flutter round you like an insect round the light.

TEMPT WITH FOOD

That the route to a man's heart is through his stomach is a truism that is ancient but can never age. To keep that enigmatic husband of hers from straying away, a wife needs to be adept at cooking.

"I hate to cook," "It's so tiring and boring," and "Why bother?" are all excuses that can drive a man away from home and wife. Food is the sustenance of life and love and in the uneven war between man and woman it is the unfailing weapon Nature has given a woman to win over her husband.

Why not make use of it and tempt your man with mouth-watering preparations? Time and effort spent on it are sure to earn rich dividends in the business of marriage.

Husbands are not made to order and we have to make do with what we have. Wishing you had a perfect husband is like longing for the moon. Sighing for one who will always dance to your tune is asking for a henpecked one which is an aberration in marriage. So, what is the way out?

Considering that variety is the spice of life, a flawless husband would not solve any problem as you would still be wanting to find fault with somebody. But, why not accept with grace what is yours? If he is difficult, try to tame him, if he is aloof, try to win him over, and if he is on the rampage, try to woo him back. This will give you enough to do with never a dull or boring moment in your married life. What more can you ask for?

About the Author - Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and a marriage counseler. He provides tips and advice on how to keep love alive and put the romance back in your marriage and relationships. Adopt his recipe for a happy marriage to build healthy and successful relationships forever!